today at school my little brother had an asthma attack and it was so bad that he was throwing up and some little shit came up to him while he was on the ground and said ‘this wouldn’t be happening to you if you weren’t so fat’ and LAUGHED AT HIM so my brother stood up and punched him in the fucking face while he was still having an asthma attack holy shit i have never been so proud
the other day we were discussing dating and this one dude was like “I don’t see the big deal why can’t people just ask people out without all the fuss” and another guy was like “well you get nervous and you get butterflies in your stomach ya know” and the first dude looked the other dude straight in the eye and said “DIGEST THEM.”
every time my dad asks me where i want to eat and i reply with “i don’t know”, do you know what he says?
"OH, SON, I DON’T THINK I’VE HEARD OF THAT RESTAURANT BEFORE. WHERE IS THIS ‘I DON’T KNOW’?"
DAD NO DON’T USE YOUR LAME DAD JOKES ON ME I’M BEGGING YOU.
hello begging you